What gets you up in the morning?
When the alarm goes off and you open your eyes to see the sun peeking through the blinds, what is it that ultimately gets you to throw back the covers and swing your legs over the edge of the bed?
The logical answer here is that you have to be at work at 9am so you can earn the money to pay your bills.
For most people, this is the answer five days a week, and on weekends, you lay in bed for a few extra hours because it’s not like you have anything you have to do, right?
One day after work, I was sitting at home and watching TV, and I just started crying. Suddenly, I realized that this could easily be the rest of my life: Getting up and going to work, coming home to sit around, eating dinner before heading to bed, only to repeat the process all over again the next day. I was suddenly very, very afraid.
If that’s all I have to look forward to for the next 40 years, what is the point of living? Honestly, if all I did every day was go to work, eat, and sleep, what would be the point of it all?
At 24 years old, I never thought I would honestly be asking myself to identify my reasons for living. I mean, this is is my prime! I should be more excited about living now than any other time in my life, right? Then why was I suddenly feeling so depressed about my routine?
The fact is that for so many years, school had given my life meaning. Working toward graduation was this ultimate goal that propelled me forward. Once that was gone, I felt like I was floating. What was I working toward now? And I realized, from here on out, I was in charge of creating my own motivation. The universe wasn’t going to provide me with any more freebies.
It’s scary to suddenly feel that kind of freedom. It is 100% my choice whether or not I spend every day after work doing nothing, or if I use that time to work toward something I want.
But what exactly do I want?
This becomes the bigger life question. Before, all I wanted was to be done with school. Mission accomplished. But what now?
Well…I want to be a published writer; I want to have an exciting career; I want to be an accomplished runner; I want to live an exceptional life.
Then dammit, I had better be using my free time to work toward these goals! Screw sitting in front of the TV after work.
It’s moments like this when I grab my running shoes and lace up, or pull out my notebook to scribble down some notes.
Growing up is scary and I was not prepared for this part of the process. I thought it all came naturally, falling into your lap as you moved forward, but that’s not the case.
With freedom comes responsibility–you’re in charge of your own life now. What do you want, and how bad do you want it?